The Truth About A Reluctant Storyteller: So Much To Tell 

She’s traveled the country promoting Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus and the Rockettes in the Radio City Christmas Spectacular. Now, Arlene Milon is a promoter of another big act: marriage. As the co-founder and executive director of Renew the ‘I do’ Foundation, Arlene helps marriage thrive in Pittsburgh, PA.

A Level 2 Certified Story Facilitator, Arlene uses storytelling to engage with the couples she works with—and she has so much fun doing it. Though when she started this journey she was a reluctant storyteller, trying to avoid being in the spotlight.

We caught up with Arlene this month to learn more about her journey. Below is our lightly edited and annotated conversation.

Leadership Story Lab: What was it like to work at the Circus?

Arlene: It was the greatest job ever for someone in their twenties, traveling all over the country and dealing with all sorts of interesting personalities. The circus performers are wildly impressive people and athletes, speaking several languages because many are European. They are well travelled and they know all the best restaurants. It’s a fun group to hang out with. The Feld organization taught me so much about marketing and was so much work and fun, but it takes over your life.

After eight years with Ringling Brothers, Arlene moved to New York to work at Madison Square Garden/Radio City Entertainment, promoting the touring theater productions of the Christmas Spectacular starring the Rockettes and The Wizard of Oz. This job allowed her to be closer to family. After 14 years, she retired to be with her young children.

LSL: You came out of retirement to start Renew the ‘I do’ Foundation. Tell us more about that. 

Arlene: Our mission statement is: Inspire marriages to thrive in today’s culture, guided by research, science, and the Holy Spirit. We do this primarily through creating unique and inspiring date nights in cool spaces all over Pittsburgh. Our research has shown that the two most important parts of a successful marriage are consistently praying together and making time to go out on date nights. So we plan inspirational date nights all over Pittsburgh, finding unique spaces and partnering with different organizations like the Cultural Trust and the Symphony. A couple of weeks ago, we hosted Manfred Honick, the world-famous Austrian conductor of the Pittsburgh Symphony. He talked about the great composers and the spirituality of music, which was amazing. To celebrate our 10th anniversary this year, we’re hosting ten date nights!

Though date nights often incorporate Mass into their activities, couples do not need to be Catholic to benefit from the Foundation’s services. Arlene and her team organize events, from bike tours and bowling nights to evenings at the symphony. 

LSL: What prompted you to seek out Leadership Story Lab and Certified Story Facilitator program? How did you know you wanted to be a certified story facilitator?

Arlene: I don’t know how I stumbled upon Leadership Story Lab, but when I did, I just thought it was the coolest idea. And I was enamored with Esther’s story and verve for the potential for this business. I was super impressed and it made perfect sense to me. I subscribed to her newsletters, and I would read every single one. They gave me tips as a marketer. I like the way she wrote and presented. When I saw the opportunity to learn from her, I thought, “Oh, I’m totally doing that.” I knew that at some point, Renew the ‘I do’  would want to tell the stories of our couples’ unique marriages.

LSL: What was a key takeaway for you? 

Arlene: It’s the IRS structure — that’s what I love about it. It’s a simple concept to understand, harder to practice but now, I’m always putting more interesting things up front to compel people. It’s really helpful. My daughter is a freshman at The Ohio State, and she just got into this professional organization. They worked on their resume, and also had to introduce themselves to tell their story. I said, “ Let me help you.” And I gave her a simplified structure to make her story instantly compelling. I took another storytelling class with Seth Godin. I’m a huge fan of his, too. He’s equally brilliant. It was similar. But in the end, his structure doesn’t stick in my head as much.

LSL: How has CSF impacted you? How has your work changed now that you are a CSF?

Arlene: At a board meeting the other day, we had a lot of data to share, which is interesting, but instead I kicked off the meeting with an email from a couple who asked for a scholarship for a date night. They sent us a thank you note. It was just a lovely story and heartfelt thanks. The whole demeanor in the room just changed when we started the meeting that way, as opposed to the numbers of how much money we needed to raise this month.

CSF has really helped me be aware of how compelling people’s stories are, especially marriage stories. I need to take time to really focus on them so that my foundation is even more successful so more couples want to participate and donors want to donate.

I also wanted to do CSF because I’m not a huge fan of public speaking. I thought it would help me welcome everyone at each of our date nights. Esther challenged me a couple times, saying “You’ve got to tell your story. People need to know why you’re leading this.”

I was a reluctant storyteller. I thought, “They don’t want to know about me. This isn’t about me.” Esther came back, “Well, then it’s not going to be successful. You have to get out there and tell your story.”

Her encouragement was incredibly helpful to me. She gave me permission to go up there and explain why I’m doing this. And then it became much easier to welcome people with a story because of CSF.  I graduated from Level One and started introducing our priests and speakers in a different way. It was really fun. I remember the first time I used the IRS structure, adding something “interesting and delightful” about our new priest friend. I was thinking, “Wow, that was a great introduction, and people loved it. And now I’ve set the priest up to do his talk, and everyone is laughing and excited.”

LSL: How do you tell the stories of your couples?

Arlene: For Renew the ‘I do’s 10-year anniversary, we’re creating a keepsake album to pay tribute to Pittsburgh marriages. We’re promoting it to all 3,000 couples that participate in our events. We’re asking couples to upload their wedding pictures and each answer a few thoughtful questions that will tell their story. Every couple that submits will have a page in this book. It’s a way to honor all of our couples and just pay tribute to Pittsburgh marriages. We want to get it on coffee tables all over Pittsburgh to inspire other marriages. We all have imperfect marriages, but we’re doing our best to love and choose each other every day. It’s inspiring!

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