What Happens When Leadership Storytelling Easily Sparks Connection 

“I’m curious about how people navigate change, both within their families and within the world. We’re all navigating change all the time. It feels more intense as of late.”

It’s this empathy and curiosity that drives Elaine Gast Fawcett as she helps her clients reflect on big life questions. As a philanthropy advisor and communications strategist at PhilanthroComm, she works with foundations, family advisory firms, and other philanthropy-serving organizations on communications, grantmaking, and governance.

She is the author of more than a dozen books, hundreds of tools and guides, all in the spirit of self-reflection and helping families, foundations and philanthropists share their stories and their values through effective giving.

We had a chance to sit down and discuss how becoming a Certified Story Facilitator through Leadership Story Lab has impacted her work.

Elaine and her colleague Sue Schwartzmann present their What’s Your Enough Tool at the Purposeful Planning Institute 2024.

Leadership Story Lab: You are already a published author and a communication strategist. Why did you want to take the Certified Story Facilitator training?

Elaine: At the 2023 Purposeful Planning Institute, Esther was the keynote speaker. I had no idea what I was even stepping into.

During that keynote, Esther ran the Paired Introduction leadership storytelling exercise. The signature storytelling tool that participants learn in CSF Level 1. The exercise focuses on active listening and the power of asking Crazy Good Questions to help write an intriguing introduction that can be used in conferences, meetings, bios and other professional and personal introduction opportunities.

Elaine’s flight to the conference had been delayed. Despite being jet-lagged and underslept, the Paired Introduction activity captivated Elaine’s attention. Unlike most keynotes, it wasn’t passive, it engaged the listeners actively.

Paired Introductions created connections between participants and helped them understand themselves in a different way. It resonated with me and I respected Esther and her work.

A few weeks later, Elaine signed up for the CSF training where she and her cohort learned to facilitate the Paired Introduction exercise.  

People come for the content, but they stay for the connections. Having someone reflect my story back to me was so helpful.

We’re all innately storytellers. However, being so close to our own story is difficult. It’s hard to see ourselves. And that tool provides the structure to answer crazy good questions and share and reflect back what people hear.

Leadership Story Lab: Can you think of a time where you put something you learned at CSF into action?

Elaine: A couple of instances come to mind.

I’ve had the opportunity to interview thousands of people in my career through research for the books, articles, and guides I’ve written. I’ve always considered myself a good question-asker. Yet going through CSF has made me even more thoughtful and intentional about the questions I bring to the table.

Often some of the most interesting things come from who someone is, who they are as a person, not what they do.

I now try to incorporate creative questions about the whole person in any interview. For example, inspired by Leadership Story Lab’s list of Crazy Good Questions, I always ask what inspired someone to take the path they chose, and what has surprised them most along the way. I’ve learned that the more I can personalize the question to the person’s experience, the more interesting response they will share. In that way, the conversation is co-creative.

I am becoming a better listener too — reflecting back what people are saying in a way that both affirms them and deepens my understanding of what I’ve heard, which, in the best cases, can then amplify their experience of themselves.

It’s being that mirror, that witness to someone in the moment, that creates connection. I know how it feels being on the receiving end of that in a conversation with someone, if they’re really present with what I’m saying, and it matters.

I now have details about who I am at the ready that I wouldn’t have thought to share with someone before.

Before I go to a networking event, I have a few questions in mind that I can ask someone, such as: “Outside of your work life, what’s giving you energy these days?” or “What’s your favorite way to practice self-care / bring yourself into balance?” This immediately changes the conversation, from “all business” and “what we can get out of it” to a softer, more personal view into who we truly are.

Leadership Story Lab:  Have you facilitated leadership storytelling with a group of people since being certified?

Elaine: Yes, and I’d love to do more of it. In this next year, I’m planning to do more story facilitation with well-resourced moms.

My colleague Sue of Schwartzman Advising and I are working with ultra high net-worth moms who want to parent well with wealth. We are currently seeking to connect with 30 moms who self-identify as well-resourced, and who have school-age children.

We want to find out what their needs are. What are they worried about? We hear that a lot of these women feel isolated and often overwhelmed. They can’t talk freely about their wealth or what issues or challenges they have. If they do, people are like, “Oh, cry me a river, you have money.”

Yet these women are the architects of their family. They’re family leaders who have an important impact on their own kids, and have a great potential to impact their communities and causes they care about. Yet how do they get started? And how can they feel confident they are doing it right?

Our plan is to gather peer cohorts of women to come together in a safe, supportive space, with the freedom to talk freely, share ideas, and learn some of the best practices when it comes to philanthropy, financial preparedness, raising kids well with wealth. I’ll use the story facilitation tools with these groups as a way for them to see themselves and their story clearly.

Leadership Story Lab: What an interesting project and use for leadership storytelling. Esther’s research on Wealth Creators investigates similar questions. Your tool “What’s Your Enough” also helps people reflect on their own story and see themselves more clearly. That seems to be a common theme between your work and CSF.

How does CSF compare to other professional development courses you’ve taken?

Elaine: Number one, it’s a cross-sector of fields. I can be guilty of hanging out in my own space, the philanthropy field, which is helpful, because I’m able to become a subject matter expert on some topics. Yet, I learn so much from hearing from others outside of philanthropy as well.

With CSF, it’s interesting to be with people who work in different industries. It’s helpful to get different perspectives — with story being the throughline.

CSF truly cuts across sectors with facilitators from a broad spectrum of different backgrounds. Since its founding, CSF has served leaders from the following sectors: Finance and Investing, Coaching, Communications, Philanthropy and Nonprofits, Professors and Educators, Filmmakers, Insurance, Customer Experience, Marketing, Human Resources, Corporate Trainers, and Others. 

It’s a place where we can go deep. I feel like there’s space to be vulnerable with some of the topics that we have in some of the monthly meetings — the one I remember most is “what is your failure story?”It’s personal. It’s more grounded than some of the other professional development programs I’ve been in.

It’s also practical. It gives me a way to see things with a new lens and also gives me a language for how I can use it in my work.

All CSFs are invited to join Leadership Story Lab’s Professional Development Series, which is a supportive community where CSFs keep learning and growing together with new ideas and frameworks during monthly calls. Some deep dives include exploring literature and leadership, neurolinguistic programming, word play, AI, the power of great questions, among others.

I like connecting with people, hearing different perspectives. The topics are truly curated and thoughtful, with care toward providing value to everyone in the group. It’s helpful to have the breakout rooms, because that’s where I feel like the juice is — a chance to connect more deeply with people.

Elaine and Sue connect with their clients over their children’s book Two Measly Spots.

Leadership Story Lab: Is there anything that surprised you about CSF?

Elaine: When I signed up for level one, I was on the fence because it was a big investment and I’ve been telling stories my whole life. I thought: do I really need this kind of thing? I’m a communicator, after all. 

However, going through the experience of connecting deeply with people in that group and then being part of the ongoing monthly meetings, it’s been a true benefit

I always learn something. There’s synergy and mutual respect among the group that continues to grow. Esther invited me to bring the What’s Your Enough Tool to one of the meetings and then Leadership Story Lab did a press release about it, which was picked up by Forbes. There’s a generosity of spirit in her and the entire Leadership Story Lab team is incredibly supportive. It’s rare to find a group of leaders that truly want to support each other’s success, and will show up for each other in reciprocity. This is the story of CSF–and it continues to unfold.

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Leadership Story Lab loves to celebrate the successes of our CSF community. Read about how Gina Fong was the first woman of color to earn “Outstanding Professor of the Year” at Kellogg School of Management, how Arlene Milon released a book celebrating marriage in Pittsburgh, and how Yeo Chuen Chuen’s Leaders People Love (Penguin Business, 2023) won a silver medal in the Axion Business Book Awards for the category Company Culture.

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